They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
