I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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