Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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