When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
