Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just blew my weed a kiss
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
