I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My vagina just clenched in fear
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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