Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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