Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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