there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize