My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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