Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
