Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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