I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize