Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
