he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
