Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My life is pants optional.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
