I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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