you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
