omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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