the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
