Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
