Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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