1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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