I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
