I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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