Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
