Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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