Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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