I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize