Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?