sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
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"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
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Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.