you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.