I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life