Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.