i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fuck appropriateness.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
