Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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