Who did Billy Mays play for?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
