Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
