I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
