carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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