We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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