Can i not drive my cunt home
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
