Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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