i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
