When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
