Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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