you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
