That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize