Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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