My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize