he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
