D3 body, D1 cock
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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