Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I need water and some morals
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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