Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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