I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
