I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
