Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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