You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The air was thick with penises
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
