Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
