I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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