do herpes really smell.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
