I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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