Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
