Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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