i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
